


I Found You

by Rhysanoodle



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-29 00:42:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15718407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhysanoodle/pseuds/Rhysanoodle
Summary: Elain wakes up in the middle of the night to a nightmare, and the only person she wants to comfort her is Azriel. The only problem is that she has no idea where he lives.





	1. Chapter 1

Elain bolted upright, sweat causing her nightgown to cling to her skin. It was happening again. She could still hear the Cauldron singing sweetly in her ear as she shook off the nightmare. It had been a few weeks since she’d had this particular dream _—_ being chained up by the King of Hybern, certain she was going to die before Feyre and Azriel had come to rescue her. The terror still clung to her at the memory of them both nearly dying in the attempt. Because she had been so idiotic and tried to chase after Graysen.  


Elain had known he’d never really come for her.

But Azriel had. And he’d cared enough to risk everything in the process. The thought of his injuries still made her stomach churn, and she bolted for the bathing room, barely making it in time to relieve herself.

She sat there for a few minutes before feeling too caged in in the cramped room. She needed some fresh air, a distraction from the male on her mind.

She grabbed a cloak to shield her from the brisk early spring chill, ambled into the garden, and stared at the moon, heaving out a sigh. He’d been constantly on her mind for longer than she cared to admit. As much of a struggle as her adjustment was, he was the only one who made her feel truly at home. The only one she could completely open up to in the past few months since Hybern. Feyre was trying _—_ she could tell _—_ but she was always so busy with the rebuilding efforts that sometimes Elain fell to the wayside. And Nesta _—_ well she wasn’t sure what was going on with Nesta, but she’d closed herself off almost completely from Elain. She felt tears begin to trickle down her cheeks.

Elain groaned, in the moment realizing that he was the only one she wanted to console her about her terrors. The only way she was going to get any more sleep tonight. One problem, though. She had no idea where he lived. Cassian had mentioned that anytime the two were supposed to sleep at the House of Wind, he subtly melted into the shadows and was absent for most of their stay.

Quietly, she unlatched the garden gate and slipped into the heart of Velaris.

* * *

Azriel was awoken by a loud banging on his door. _Mother above_. It was the middle of the night. Who could possibly have business with him this late? _And how did they know how to find him_? He’d intentionally paid for this apartment under a false name, wanting somewhere private he could retreat to whenever he needed an escape from the world.

Grabbing a dagger from his bedside table and barely remembering to throw on a loose pair of pants, he headed for the door. As he groggily opened the door, a hooded figure huskily murmured, “You’re a tough guy to find…”

Baring his teeth, he growled, “Who are you? Show yourself!”

As the hood slipped over her head and revealed her, Elain squeaked, “Azriel…” She took a step back, clearly a little confused at his hostile reaction upon opening the door.

He felt his cheeks heat as realization struck him. He’d been so sleep-addled that he hadn’t even recognized her sweet scent wafting toward him. “Elain,” he breathed, and swept her into a hug.

Without missing a beat, she crushed him back in an embrace. “I just had to see you. To know you were okay.” Her words were almost unintelligible. As he stepped out of her arms, he took a good look at her face, and noticed she’d been crying.

“I’m fine. Really,” her breath hitched, as she held her ground, face only inches from his now. Azriel’s logical side quickly lost the war raging inside him as he delicately brushed his lips against hers. She leaned into the kiss, and he lost control, parting her lips with his tongue, desperately craving more of her taste. She matched his intensity, crushing her lips against his and running a hand through the back of his hair, leaving goose-flesh along the back of his neck.

Az swept her into his arms and carried her inside. Once the door was closed behind them, he perched her in his lap. As she pulled away from him for a brief breath of air, he murmured, “How did you find me? Nobody knows about this place. Not even my spies.”

She flashed him a grin, clearly very pleased with herself for the accomplishment, and replied “To be honest, I had no idea where I was going at first. I just began wandering the streets of Velaris.” She gave him a quick shush and rolled her eyes as his face must’ve mirrored the horror he felt at hearing that. “But it wasn’t too long before I’d pick up a hint of a shadow moving here or there. They were all headed in the same direction, as if making their way back to some focal point. I figured the odds were pretty good they were rallying to you, and they led me here.” She shrugged.

He chuckled running a hand through his hair. Leave it to Elain to be so observant, so attuned to everything about him. A chill ran through him as he remembered the fact that she’d been on the verge of tears when she showed up. “And what was so important that you couldn’t wait until tomorrow to tell me?” he asked, absentmindedly grabbing her hand and soothingly caressing it with his thumb.

She blushed. “I had…a nightmare… And you were in it. I just had to reassure myself that you were okay. And…you were the only one I wanted comforting me.”

He planted a kiss on her temple. “I’m fit as a fiddle, dear. Although a bit exhausted. It’s been a rough night for me as well _—_  though I’m flattered you cared so much about my well-being to hunt me down.”

They lay there silently for a minute before Elain let out a huge yawn. Azriel pulled a blanket over the two of them, and it wasn’t long before they both drifted off to sleep, not a single nightmare daring to make an appearance.


	2. Chapter 2

Elain woke the next morning with a start. It took her a moment to remember that she’d fallen asleep at Azriel’s apartment, on his couch, and his arms were still protectively wrapped around her as he continued dozing. For the first time in weeks, she’d slept peacefully, without having a single nightmare. She gathered that this must have been an anomaly for him as well because somehow it was already late in the morning, and she was fairly certain he always awoke at dawn to train. **  
**

Elain buried her face in his chest, breathing in his heady scent of mist-and-cedar, hoping to draw out the cuddles for as long as possible, but Az began to stir. “Mmm,” he groaned, “What time is it?”

“I think it’s almost lunchtime already,” she replied.

The sound of her grumbling stomach had him shifting them to a sitting position. Resting a hand on her thigh, he said “You just relax. I’ll whip us up something to eat.” At that, he stood, stretching his limbs, and made his way into the small but comfortable-looking kitchen attached to the living room. She still had goosebumps from the imprint of his hand on her leg, and her eyes lingered on his backside as she watched him walk away, also not failing to notice that fact that he made no move to put on a shirt.

“Any preferences?” he asked, grabbing a skillet from a cabinet and setting some plates on the counter.

“Surprise me,” she grinned. “Make whatever sounds good to you.”

“At your service.” He gave a small bow and disappeared into what must’ve been a small pantry.

Elain used the time to look around the small apartment. Last night it had been too dark, and she had been so focused on Az that she hadn’t gotten a good look around. It was impeccably tidy, but fairly utilitarian, which made the few homey touches stand out even more.

She smiled as she took in the vase of purple lilacs on the shelf in his entryway. They were still super fresh, as if he had bought them within the last few days. She had a feeling he paid extreme attention to details and wouldn’t be the sort to ever let them wilt whilst on display.

“So, this is your place?” she asked Az. “It’s cute, quiet,” she paused as she realized she might be the only other person who’d ever set foot in it. “Alone…”

A small, framed photo on the end table caught her attention. “Huh?” She took a closer look, realizing it depicted a beautiful Illyrian female. Elain’s heart sunk. Last night had probably been a fluke. He’d been so exhausted, and she’d practically come on to him. Of course he had feelings for someone special. He’d been around for centuries. She’d always gotten a vibe that he’d been in love with Mor at some point in time, but it made sense that he may have someone back at the camp he grew up in that he was still in contact with, still possibly pining for.

She shifted in her seat, bringing one knee up to her chest and resting her chin on it.

Before she lost her nerve, she asked, “Az, who…who’s that?” Gods, she was so flustered, she couldn’t even properly get a sentence out.

“Huh?” A confused Az looked up from chopping some potatoes. When he saw the portrait she was referring to, his face lit up. “Oh that. That’s my mother. She lives in Rosehall, the camp I was born in.”

Oh. Of course. Why hadn’t she thought of that before? “She’s really beautiful, Azriel,” Elain murmured, and she meant it. She’d certainly thought it before she knew who the mysterious female was — when she was harboring some jealousy — but now that she was staring at the gorgeous features which were so obviously reflected on Azriel, like his soft, hazel eyes and broad smile, those thoughts intensified.

Az’s eyes held her own for a moment before she noticed his gaze slip to the hem of her nightgown. With her chin still resting on her knee, most of her leg was exposed for him to see. 

“Yeah… Beautiful,” he murmured. 

Elain blushed as she sensed that perhaps he wasn’t only referring to his mother.

A pregnant silence enveloped them for the next few minutes.

A small timer went off, shaking them both out of the daze, and causing her to remember her aching stomach. Az took a skillet off the stove to reveal some sort of hash of eggs, potatoes, peppers, and sausage. Mouth watering, she said “Az, that looks delicious.” He scooped some onto 2 plates, and brought them over to Elain on the couch, going back afterwards to fetch them glasses of juice.

“Eat up,” he said.

As she shoveled the delicious food into her mouth and sat next to this handsome male who had always been so kind to her, Elain found herself truly content for the first time since coming to Velaris.


	3. Chapter 3

Elain spent the next week trying to find excuses to visit the Shadowsinger’s apartment again. The first time, it had just been to return the heavier cloak that she’d borrowed after that fateful night, loathe as she was to part with something which smelled so divine. Unfortunately, he’d been on his way to a meeting and hadn’t had time to spare other than thanking her for returning it and promising that next time they’d be able to spend some time together. **  
**

The next day, she’d just been in the neighborhood and decided to drop by, hoping it didn’t seem too forward. He’d invited her in, and they’d dined together out on his balcony where she’d noticed a few potted plants that hadn’t been there last time. She could tell he was trying to keep them alive, but they just needed a little more tender love and care. She told him such, and he gave her a key saying that she could come over whenever she wanted as long as she assisted him with their care.

She returned the very next day, gardening supplies in hand, only to find even more flower pots decorating the small outdoor space. It was starting to look like a proper little garden. She chuckled at the thought of him going and picking out all these multicolored begonias, irises, and chrysanthemums. Elain wondered if he’d even known what they were or if he just grabbed some of the first plants he saw as he strolled through the market. She tended to the small patio garden, and then snipped a few budding blossoms, and took them inside, finding a nice vase buried in a cabinet to use to display them in the windowsill.

An idea took hold in her, and she went to inspect all the rooms of the small living space. Between the bedroom, bathing room, kitchen, and living space, she took note of all the unused or blank space on shelves and walls. While she couldn’t fault him for being tidy, the space was rather sad and lonely, with the exception of the colorful scented candles she’d found in the bathing room. It seemed even Azriel had a good sense of how to relax.

After dinner, she headed back to the townhouse, forming a list of everything she’d need to bring the next day.

* * *

Az was surprised when Elain knocked on the door instead of just entering as she’d become accustomed to since he’d given her the spare key. He felt silly for obscuring his true intentions as he handed it over under the pretense of her helping with the garden, but he wasn’t quite ready to fully admit his feelings to her yet. Neither of them had spoken of that passionate kiss they’d shared when she’d shown up on his doorstep in the middle of the night, but he could feel the weight of that moment looming over their heads sometimes as they tried to make casual conversation.

The reason for her knocking became apparent as soon as he opened the door to find her arms laden with small potted plants, along with a folio of paintings and a couple of sacks which looked to contain many small knick knacks.

He quickly took most of the load out of her arms and invited her inside. “If you’d only let me know you were bringing things over to the apartment, I could have helped fly them here.” It was a decently long walk from the townhouse. Indeed, Elain seemed to be sweating underneath her layers, despite the fact that it was still freezing outside.

“But I wanted to surprise you!” she beamed. “I got some more plants that are suitable for being grown indoors to liven up the space! And I brought over some other colorful decorations I found around the house that were just in wasting away in storage closets. Nobody will miss them.”

And that, it seemed, was that. She slipped into his bathing room with a large bag, and shut the door in his face. Az stood curiously outside the door for a few minutes before finally going and sitting on the couch, trying not to look anxious at the thought of what she might be doing in there.

When Elain emerged ten minutes later, she’d changed out of her heavy winter clothes and into a comfortable pink tunic and matching linen pants. He’d never seen her out of skirts and gowns before, but the outfit was rather flattering on her and did wonders for her backside. He buried that thought far down into the recesses of his mind.

“Take a look!” she said, pulling his hand, and guiding him into the small room.

Wow. She’d brought in bright, vibrant green towels which conveniently matched the latest candle he’d been using, small, decadent soaps in various shapes, and a few tiny succulent plants.

“It’s wonderful,” he murmured. Elain’s face lit up, and she pulled him along to his bedroom.

“Now we’ve just got to do this room and the living spaces,” she grinned, handing him a colorful, abstract painting of Feyre’s. “I think that’d look great over the bed, but I’ve got a few other options in case you like anything else better.”

“This is perfect,” he replied, striding over to the spot she suggested. Elain promptly went to work placing a plush, colorful blanket on his bed, which really brightened up the space and placing endless amounts of flowers everywhere. The dresser. The nightstand. The windowsill. The bookshelf. As if not one inch of this place would be unaffected by her presence.

Cauldron. How was he supposed to stop thinking about her when she left if his entire abode vividly reminded him of her? He already had enough trouble doing it now.

They spent the next hour or two finishing up the space, and now everything was tastefully and comfortably appointed. It looked like a home now. He’d owned this place for a century, but this was the first time he’d ever thought that about it.

The two of them decided to go out to a nice dinner on the Sidra to celebrate the fruits of their labor, and Azriel was surprised when Elain wanted to head back to his apartment when he offered to fly her home afterwards. It was getting late, but he wasn’t about to complain about getting to spend a little more time with this magnificent female tonight.

* * *

Upon returning, Az broke out a vintage bottle of wine that he’d been saving for a special occasion. Impressing Elain counted for as one, right?

A few glasses of wine later, the two were sitting on the floor of his living room, laughing at a story Az was telling her about him and Cassian as teenagers when he suddenly realized that it was well into the early hours of the morning. He was immensely enjoying her company, but as she seemed to grow more tired, he felt the need to ask her, “Would you like me to fly you home now?”

Her cheeks flushed, and she stuttered, “I…I don’t want to impose, but could I stay the night?” She quickly added, “I’ll sleep in the couch if that’s okay?”

His heart was threatening to burst out of his chest as he finally decided to make his move. “Of course…but we could share the bed if you like. The couch isn’t the best. I had a crick in my neck after we fell asleep there the other night.” Oh gods. Why couldn’t he keep himself from rambling? Why was it so difficult to maintain his composure around Elain?

The next thing he knew, she was in his in his lap, straddling him, her face inches from his own now. He could smell the faint scent of alcohol on her breath, but, Cauldron be damned, he didn’t care. With a smirk he, purred, “Shall we, m’dear?”

“I think we can, Az… Yes I’d definitely like that.” His jaw dropped. Somehow, in the back of his mind, he was still expecting her to refuse the offer. He’d been trying to convince himself for weeks that this feeling he had for her was one-sided. All the better not to be hurt in the end when it probably wouldn’t work out.

And then she leaned down and kissed him. Their kiss the other night had been hurried and ended too quickly for his liking, but he was taking no prisoners tonight. He leaned his back against the wall, and brought both of his hands up to caress her face, guiding her through the kiss, unwilling to let go. As she opened herself up to him, his hands began roaming, carefully testing the water as he reached lower until they were on her backside, and he was pressing her against him. He slowly lifted one knee slightly to provide her a better angle as she began to grind against him, eliciting the most glorious, breathy moans into his mouth.

Az’s hands slid up the back of her shirt, relishing the feel of her sensuous, bare skin under his hands. It was one of the softest, most delicate things he’d ever felt. He slipped his hands up her back, pausing when he reached the clasp of her obviously lacy bra, and smoothly undid it, providing him better access to her breasts. His right hand crept to her front, taking in a glorious handful of her breast and roughly fondling it, periodically tenderly flicking at her nipple with his thumb.

Elain began to moan louder, and Az suddenly lost the last bit of control he had been leashing, and scooped her up, carrying her into the bedroom, full intending to make good on their promise to share the bed tonight. But only after they broke it in.


	4. Chapter 4

Elain woke with a jolt, feeling Azriel go stiff behind her and quickly realizing that they had both fallen asleep undressed in his bed, completely worn out from their evening together. There was a niggling feeling in her gut which she couldn’t quite place. Some sort of incessant tugging, feeling like it was physically trying to drag her backwards, almost as if she was bound to the male behind her. **  
**

It took some effort to sit herself upright, her body protesting every movement which separated her from Az. Voice shaking at the strangeness within her, and raspy with the remnants of sleep she asked, “Wh…what is that…feeling?”

Az sat up, following suit, and stared her deep in the eyes. “No…it can’t be…” he whispered. 

Simply staring into his depthless hazel eyes proved to be too much for Elain, too intense. She shuddered as she turned away, trying to ease the tension roiling in her gut.

“Azriel,” she whimpered, “What is that? That tugging feeling…to you…” Deep down, she feared she understood, but she was too scared to admit it even to herself, at least not without him confirming it.

“Elain,” Az’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “It’s…a mating bond, but that’s impossible. You are Lucien’s mate.” She glanced over to find him shrouded in shadows, a hand pressed to his face as if this development was paining him. “I’m not worthy of…”

She interrupted this last thought by bringing her lips to his own. It was an act which wasn’t unfamiliar to her now, but at the contact, Elain’s insides burned with a new intensity, that incessant tugging within her sighing and moving southward out of her stomach.

Even in her previously wine-induced state, she never felt a physical urge this strong — one which endlessly craved this beautiful male in front of her becoming seated to the hilt inside her. Thrusting. Ever so slowly thrusting into her, for hours. Days on end. She was unsure she would ever be able to get enough of it. To un-entangle herself from his muscular form.

She let out a deep moan as he bit her lip and tugged on it before quickly kissing away the small hurt. “I would love nothing more, dearest,” Az growled into her ear, and she realized that she must’ve been uncontrollably flinging her urges at him through this bond. However that worked. She’d have to figure that out later. Much later.

As if approving of her decision, Azriel pounced, flipping her onto her stomach, and burying his length inside her. She briefly felt the rawness which an evening of ravishing had left upon her body before her primal instincts kicked in, and all she could focus on was the place where their bodies melded together.

He found his rhythm, slowly thrusting in and out, but it wasn’t nearly enough for Elain. She was going to explode from pure desire for him.

“Harder, Az,” she pleaded, balling her fists into the sheets beneath her. She felt the heat of his muscled chest press against her back as he leaned closer to her ear.

“What’s the magic word?” he purred, the sensuousness of his voice sending shivers down her spine.

“Please, Az,” she begged. “Show me what my mate can do.”

At that, he slammed into her, furiously picking up the pace until she could hear him panting heavily, and Elain buried her face in the pillow in an attempt to stifle her moans.

He instantly pulled out of her in order deftly flip her over as a midnight voice hissed, “No. I need to hear exactly what I’m doing to you, dove.” He smacked her backside, and continued his assault on her body and senses, shrouding them in a veil of shadows, swirling around them and obscuring her vision.

“Is this worthy of you, my darling mate?” he growled as he minutely slowed his pace and began to finger her clit, filling her body with electricity. Shortly after, lightning rippled through her as she moaned his name, and found her completion. The sound of her orgasm seemed to hit home with him as well as he let out a low series of moans and slowed to a halt inside her.

Carefully unsheathing himself, Az collapsed behind Elain on the bed, the shadows scattering until they resumed their normal forms of a few wisps hovering nearby, and she rolled over until they were face-to-face. She was fairly certain there was no hiding the grin on her exhausted face, but she was having trouble reading his expression.

He seemed to be carefully veiling his emotions, not wanting to show her how much this meant to him — she hoped.

“You are worthy, Az.” Elain placed a peck on his cheek. “I’ve been falling for you for months without knowing that we were mates. Why would that change anything between us?”

“I came searching for you the other night because even without this knowledge, I knew you were the only person who saw me as I truly am. You were the only one I wanted to comfort me. I’d been dreaming of you wrapping me up in your arms, in your shadows, for weeks, if not months,” she laughed.

“And honestly, I kept trying to find excuses to come visit you here this past week, without it seeming too desperate, too clingy. I just love spending time with you, and I think I’m finally ready to admit that I’ve begun to fall in love with you.”

Elain hadn’t expected the tears that were streaming down his face. It seemed she’d torn down some fundamental wall inside him that had been protecting him from heartbreak.

“I love you too, Elain.” His voice was hoarse, throat tight as he continued, “Ever since you showed up on my doorstep, I began to have a glimmer of hope that you may return my feelings one day. I might’ve intentionally bought all those plants in an effort to entice you to return. To give you that excuse to spend time with me. Just chatting with you as you passionately work makes me so incredibly happy.”

“Thank you.” Elain said as she kissed him once more. “It means more to me than you’ll ever know to hear that from you. I’ll gladly stick around and tend your garden.” She winked. “And hopefully one day accepting the bond. As excited as I am right now, I’d like to let some of the newness of this wear off before making that decision. And get to spend more time with you, getting to love you.”

“For you, I’d gladly wait. You’re worth every second. And if, no when, you decide you want to spend eternity with me, I’ll get down on one knee and prove it to you,” Az purred.

Elain blushed at the thought before snuggling her face into his chest and murmuring, “I’d love that.”

He wrapped his wings around them, followed by his strong arms around her back, and ran a soothing hand through her hair.

“I can’t wait,” he whispered as Elain began to drift back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> All characters are the property of Sarah J. Maas


End file.
